2/3/2005 - The Phrase

I saw Joe last night for the first time since our night out this past Saturday. I consider Joe to be one of my closest friends, since him and I have that "say no more, I know exactly what you're talking about" kind of understanding. We had a good time Saturday night, even though I left early. When I left, Joe was dancing with a pretty girl. So I asked.

"Dude, did you get her phone number?"
"Oh, man, I got a couple phone numbers that night, brother."
"A couple? You're kidding!"

Here it comes, everyone. The Phrase. I've heard this quite a few times, and I'm sure some of my loyal sexy readers can guess exactly what came out of Joe's mouth next.

"Dude, right after you left..."
I cut him off immediately. "OH! OH! No, no, no. Don't you dare tell me..."
"...there were beautiful ladies dancing everywhere."

Sexy readers, this is my life.

"Dude, right after you left, Paris Hilton came in."
"No!"
"Yeah! It's cool, though. She was asking every guy if they knew how to do performance tuning on something called SQL Server. She said that she thought that was hot. She was only going to go home with a guy who could do that."
Getting light-headed, I manage to utter "Dude... that's... that's what I do."
"Jay, you said you're a DBA. She was looking for SQL."
Everything goes black after that, and there's a timespan that lasts until about 10am the next morning that I can't seem to account for.

I have heard the phrase "Dude, right after you left" on more than one occassion. I'm starting to think that my presence has a sobering affect on people, and that my exit is like when the teacher leaves the room. This explains a lot, actually.

However, Trikky and Grace both know me well enough, and I think that they get a kick out of watching me party over the edge. It's probably like taking Steve from Blue's Clues and making him do a keg stand.

Thank you, ladies, for seeing the inner bad-boy.