2/20/2005 - Dating Application

A dear sweet sexy reader asked in the comments to Other People's Eyes for an app. I assume that this is a request for an application to date me. So here it is:

1: Are you really really hot, so hot that guys don't ever talk to you in bars because they're too intimidated, until they've gotten so much alcohol in them that they act like a major jackass?
- Yes - ignore the rest of this questionnaire and proceed directly to the Form Submission section.
- No - proceed to question 2

2: Are you intelligent? (intelligent is defined as either IQ of 120 or greater, or able to demonstrate above average intellect by using multisyllabic words correctly, such as "multisyllabic")
- Yes - proceed to question 4
- No - proceed to question 3

3: Do you read Cosmopolitan, and want to try out their suggestions on me?
- Yes - proceed to question 4
- No - do not go any further. You are not eligible.

4: Do you think I'm funny?
- Yes - proceed to question 5
- No - stop reading now. Honestly, if you're not enjoying this, why the hell are you reading it?

5: Do you have children?
- Yes - proceed to question 6
- No - proceed to question 7

6: Do you let television and ritalin raise your children?
- Yes - stop now, and go take care of your kids
- No - proceed to question 7

7: Have you ever killed someone that you were romantically involved with?
- Yes - proceed to question 8
- No - proceed to question 9

8: Did he deserve it?
- Yes - proceed to question 9
- No - stop now. Don't look at my email address. Navigate away from this page, clear your history, and forget that I even exist.

9: Which of the following best describes you?
- I can't stop partying and getting drunk, and I love weed, and I'm on ecstacy right now - stop now. Where did you find time to read this?
- I am adventurous and fun-loving, and I like roller-coasters, ballgames, live music, dancing, parties, friends, and anything fun - proceed to question 10
- I like adventure, but I also like some down time at home to watch a movie and relax with whoever I'm dating - proceed to the Form Submission section
- I don't get out too much - proceed to question 11
- I don't like people - stop now. Read my archives for something to do. Really, there's a lot. This way, you can live my life vicariously, all without any risk to yourself.

10: What is the best part of getting out and having a good time?
- Having someone I like to do fun things with - proceed to Form Submission section
- Running away from the misery of my life - stop now. Cheer up, but don't contact me.

11: Why don't you get out much?
- I don't have someone to share it with, even though I'd love to try new things - proceed to Form Submission section.
- I am apprehensive, and I don't like risk - stop now. Cheer up, but don't contact me.


Form Submission
If you made it here, send your photo to jcvonrosen@yahoo.com, and put "Date Jay Form Submission" in the subject.