12/10/2004 - Rant

I am feeling rather loagie today, and I hate it. I'm out of sorts, tired, unhappy, and just a plain stick in the mud, and I despise such feelings so passionately, that I will now rage against this madness.

For Pete's sake, as I'm typing this, a reminder popped up entitled "Christmas Cheer". Here's some goddamn Christmas Cheer...

My personality is one of those that will work attentively and quietly towards my goals, trusting in the nature of others to recognize and reward. It's goddamn stupid. How the hell can anyone know what I want as I work quietly and attentively?

- I want some goddamn money, so I can take my kids to DisneyWorld while they're still young.
- I want to get my grades and see A's, so I know that all of the goddamn stress I've put on myself has been worthwhile.
- I want a beef tenderloin roast. The whole goddamn thing for myself.
- I want some sex. That sort of pent-up, "find something sturdy to hold onto" sex, but not with someone that I'll wake up the next day thinking, "Aw, dammit." I want it with someone that I'll wake up the next day thinking, "Gosh, the clouds are so nice and fluffy today."
- I want to get back on stage. "Play out" is what we in the know call it. I realize that this is caused by my own personal dysfunction. Performers, those with a passionate lust for performing, find a type of acceptance, attention, and a confidence in their actions while performing that real life just doesn't provide. It's like a drug.
- I want someone to tell me a goddamn joke right now.
- I could probably go for some peanuts, too.

Is that so bad?