11/12/2004 - The Good Girl's Bad Boy

Not long ago, I was dating a good, conservative, church going woman. This woman was a fun loving person, but hated violence and scruffy, dirty men. We were talking about the notion that women are attracted to bad boys.

"I don't like that one bit. I was always the girl who'd run and tell when the boys started fighting."
"That was you?"
"Yes. I don't go for the bad boy. You're the closest to a bad boy that I've ever dated."

I was stupified. This was the absolute first time anyone had ever implied such a thing with me. Most of my life, I had been the good boy that the girls went to when they wanted a short break from being mistreated. Now...

"I'm your bad boy fantasy?"
"Yes, sweetie."
Silence. I'm trying to figure out what this means to me. Then, "Hell yeah."

I don't touch drugs and I haven't fought since high school. I wash myself every day. I floss and use mouthwash. I have never hit a woman. I have never cheated on a woman. I don't cry about my relationship with my father when I'm drunk. I've never once called a woman a bitch to her face out loud, unless it was really really clear that I was joking.

However, I play in a band. I have been known to be drunk at 3am on a weeknight with other musicians. I - by the nature of being in a music scene - have been exposed to guns, violence, and hard drugs. I have woken up and thought, "Where am I, and what the hell happened last night?" more than a few times.

I am a bad boy for the good girls. The guy that may have a girl wondering "Where the hell is he?" at 3am, but she'll never think "That bastard's cheating on me again!" I say Hell and Damn a lot, but I use the granddaddy bad words judiciously. I have a decent job and a bright future, but I'm still 100% committed to making sure I have a damn good time getting there.

Side note: in my youth, I considered becoming a surgeon, because I was fascinated when we were dissecting frogs in science, but once I realized that they couldn't party hard, I said "no way". It would be incredibly rewarding, but even more rewarding to me is good times and good laughs with good friends.