10/25/2004 - Younger Women

I have an accounting class, and I have a cute little number in my class with me.

Some background for those who don't know me well. I'm 34. I dated a 26 year old for about a week last year, and was just flabbergasted with the whole thing. Since then, I have only dated women older than me. I think that men who date women that are significantly younger than them have maturity issues, and women who only date older men also have maturity issues. I think that one of the biggest indicators of a lack of maturity is a desire to prove one's maturity. Little boys smoke and fight; little girls wear too much makeup and date old men.

However, this honey is a cutie, and I start to think to myself, "Jay, you're all about the experiences right now - you're not looking for a wife, you're looking to know more about women in general, and youth does not mean that there's nothing to learn."

All the female readers - say it with me: "Nice job justifying it, you sick old man!"

I talk to Penny about this...

"There's a cutie in my accounting class."
"How old is she?"
"I dunno. She could be 18. I haven't had an 18 year old since I was 21."
"HAD?!?!?!?#$&^#$"

Okay, Penny's not going to understand.

So I picture it in my head. What would she say to her friends?

"I went out on a date, like, with this, like, guy, y'know? (squeak!) And, like, he's 34!"
"Oh! My! Gawd!"
"And he drives an Intrepid! (squeak!)"
"Oh! My! GAWD! Those are, like, ten thousand dollars!"
"Like, used!"

What would it be like to go out to dinner with an under-21?

Me: "We'd like a bottle of your house Cabernet, please."
Garcon: "May I see your IDs?"
Me: "Certainly! Thank you very much!"
Her: "I, like, left mine in the car."

She could meet some friends of mine...

"Oh! My! Gawd! So, you're, like, Jewish?"
"More than like Jewish, I am Jewish."
"Don't you think Hitler was, like, so bogue?"
"...ummm... yeah... I guess he was pretty bogue."
(The above exchange was actually witnessed by me between a potential girlfriend and a friend long long ago. I did not date this girl. Guess why.)

She could meet my parents...

"Oh! My! Gawd! So you live in Grosse Pointe?"
"Yes."
"Doesn't, like, Henry Ford live here?"
My parents laugh until they realize that she was serious, then they blush. "He died. Like in the 40's."
"Oh my gawd! That's so sad!"
"And if you're thinking about The Ford House, it was Henry's son, Edsel, that lived in Grosse Pointe."
"Henry Ford named his son after a car?"
"... Would you like a Coke?"

On the other hand...

"How do you keep your thighs so toned?"
"(Tee-hee) I don't know! They just are! (squeak!)"

"How come I can't find any cellulite?"
"(Tee-hee) You're making that word up! (squeak!)"

"Those can't be real."
"(Tee-hee) You're so silly! (squeak!)"

So age doesn't really matter, right?