10/6/2004 - Emotions

I had an emotion yesterday. It was really irritating. I didn't start crying or anything, so don't cancel my Maxim subscription just yet, but I did have to tell Penny to stop talking, because I was going to, like, care or something.

I think it was all caused by Rodney Dangerfield dying. I bet that was it. Gone is the man who once said "That kangaroo stole my ball!" That can't be replaced.

My mom, in her eternal attempts to scar me emotionally, once told me that she refused hormones after menopause. After all the ookie woman stuff stopped, she said she felt good for the first time in her whole life. She said "Is this what men always feel like? This is GREAT!"

Yes, ladies. Post-menopause, you too can know the serenity of not giving a crap about anyone or anything else, and you can walk around thinking that you already know everything. It's quite liberating.

So here's the story. I went to lunch with my friend Pedro yesterday. He's the one who introduced me to S***n. He told me that she's having surgery this Saturday. Pretty serious surgery, and she's not handling things well at this point.

Fine. Y'know? Dammit. I wanted to be there for her. But what can I do when she was being such a... dammit! DAMMIT!

So what do I do? I drive back from lunch listening to a CD with a bunch of old country songs on it. That's good for the emotional well being, isn't it? Country music should be laughed at, not understood! DAMMIT AGAIN!

"But there is one promise that is given; I'll meet you on God's Golden Shores"
"He'll meet you ooooonnnn God's Golden Shores!"

Okay, so I'm not heartless. I sent her an email. I was actually quite proud of what I wrote. I think I'll sell it to Hallmark. Heartfelt, supportive, yet still emotionally distant. That's Jay! Dammit!

So I tell Penny that I had to stop talking about it yesterday, and what does she do?
Penny: "Have I told you today?"
Jay: "Oh, sh*t"
Penny: "I LOVE YOU!!!!"

Stellar. L-Bomb. Now I need to go get drunk and have emotionless sex to cleanse myself. Except I'm getting older, and, for a man, that means that I need to choose one or the other. DAMN! IT!

S***n, dammit, I miss how you'd bitch at me about how I never listened to you. There was other stuff you'd bitch about, too, but... well, you know... I don't think I caught what that was all about.

Dammit.

As a side note, I was chatting with the ex online this morning about how the weekend schedules with the kids are all messed up since I went to my cousin's wedding, and I said "Gosh, one little wedding can screw everything up."

Then I paused, and added, "Dang, ain't that the truth?"
"That's not nice, Jay."