10/11/2004 - Reputation

This is an old story, but something made me think of it yesterday...

Months and months ago, not even one year into the "Playboy Life" I now lead, I had a little groupie coming to some shows. She asked some fellow in the audience what he knew about me. It turns out that I had a reputation...

"Oh, you don't want to get mixed up with him."
"Why not?"
"Well... I could tell you some stories."

I heard about this a week or so afterwards, and I had two reactions.

The first reaction was "Gosh, stories must really have been embellished upon." I've had some incredibly interesting experiences, but I really don't think I'm trouble.

The second reaction was "YEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!" When other men are warning women about you, that is the moment you can proudly look in the mirror and declare "I have arrived!"

Don't get me wrong. I have pleasant, respectful relationships with a couple women. These aren't sexual relationships. Friendly relationships based on mutual respect and admiration. So I have a clear conscience.

Why is it a great feeling to have other men warning women about you? To understand, one must consider the psychology of both men and women.

Men are competitive, and, in courting women, they will speak disparagingly of the men that they see as competition. Women, how often have you heard men talking about how stupid Brad Pitt is? Brad Pitt's probably a pretty smart guy.

Here's the good part, though. Women believe in the inherent value of all human beings. When a woman hears that a man is trouble and should be avoided, they seem to think "Poor fellow, something must have hurt him to make him this way." And they get more attracted to him.

Why? Because they want to rip out what's left of his heart and run over it with a Mack truck! And then stop the truck, throw it in reverse, and back up over the heart a second time, while the piercing warning beeps wail, "SQUASH! HEART! SQUASH! HEART! SQUASH! HEART!"

"Jay, I know you've been hurt in the past... but I really care about you."
Jay's icy heart melts long enough for her to drive the stake through it.
"Ha ha!" she shrieks, as she laps up the life-giving blood.

Wow! Where did that come from? I'm as confused as you, sexy readers.