5/2/2005 - I CAN'T STOP EATING!

In the past five minutes, I have eaten:

• a handful of sunflower seeds


• a handful of jellybeans


• a piece of pumpernickel toast with nearly a quarter stick of butter on it


• my nanny's BP credit card

Like all things in my life, there is an amusing back-story.

A few months back, I started taking that St. John's Wort. Not because I was depressed, but because I just like to trip out. I feel like it's my responsibility in life to know as much as I can about everything that I'm curious about, and, since I turned away from the illegal things about 17 years ago, herbs are my kick now.

Yohimbe works! It can give you a stroke, though, so go easy on it. I just keep a little bottle safely tucked away for my "binges" of three beers and a Yohimbe pill broken in half. I live life in my own little fast lane.

Back to St. John's Wort - almost immediately, I noticed something. I felt no desire to compulsively do things. I felt a little more "at ease". Not happier, just no inner sense that I had to do something compulsively. It was cool. This meant that I didn't feel like eating unless I was actually hungry or drinking unless I was actually thirsty. Pretty sweet, huh?

I've been feeling like pills are getting too integral in my life, though. I had been taking vitamin E, a vitamin B complex, some Ginkgo Biloba for my slow brain, something like Tagamet because I've inherited acid-reflux (thanks, Dad), and the St. John's Wort. Last Friday, I skipped most of them, and then haven't taken anything since then.

Now I have this feeling like I must devour everything in my sight. The compulsiveness is back. It's no big whup, since everything I eat just happens to be delicious! I look around the house, surveying everything with one lone thought in my head - "edible?"

If the answer's "yes", then I feel like we're all winners.