9/11/2004 - Last Night

Boo, you know that I can't hold back any story that involves you trying to burn down a bar.

Everyone, My Boo got a little crazy last night. It was the Indian food.

The story opens with Boo and I in Grand Rapids' premiere Indian restaurant. The food was excellent. The service was a little quirky, but I think that that is part of the ambience of this part of town. As we sit and ponder what's next in our night on the town, we weigh the option of driving 30 miles north to some authentic country music. This isn't Garth Brooks type of stuff. This is "go to Howard City, turn left at the bar/grocery store, and look for the building with 'Bob's Country Outhouse' spray painted on the side".

Honestly, this is seriously tempting to me. This is the kind of thing that I love doing with my friend Jiggy. I think it'll bore Boo to tears, though. Add to that the fact that I would have to drive 30 miles north to this, 30 miles back to take Boo home, then 20 miles back north to get myself home.

So we decide to head over to a little bar called Mulligan's. Mulligan's has a house specialty called "Mulligan Stew". Judging by the taste and the pyrotechnic properties, it is Kahlua, rum, and Bacardi 151 on the top. I may have that wrong, though.

What fun it would be to watch My Sweet Little Dutch Boo drink something that's on fire. She is an oasis of all that is good and normal in the world. We should celebrate that with flaming shots!

So I go and get us two Stews, then spread out the straws, matches, and napkins.

"Okay, I'm going to light this on fire, Boo. Then you put your straw in it and drink it really fast".
"Call me 'Boob' - it's funnier".
"I'm not calling you 'Boob'".
"Why not?"

You see why I like spending time with this girl? Her focus just flows like water.

So, after a quick explanation, I light the shots on fire. I think I was in mid-sentance, and I think she was formulating a question, such as "What if the straw catches on fire", but the shot was already lit. It's showtime.

Her straw, now a reed of melting plastic, lights some spilled 151 on fire. Her napkin burns as she tries to see if her molten straw is still usable. Her shot is engulfed in flames, inside and outside of the glass.

I think it was at this point that Boo says "People are looking at us". Does anyone else find that hilarious in its innocence? We have fiery burning death on our table, and her focus is on the people looking at us. Of course they're looking at us. They need to decide when to run.

I confidently slap out the flames while the thought in the back of my head is "this is a really big fire". I may have seemed like I knew what I was doing. I admit to my sexy readers that I pictured myself standing on the bar stool, yelling "Everybody run! She'll kill us all!", and leading a mad charge out of the burning building.

Now Boo takes a spare straw, shot still flaming, and says "Okay, what am I supposed to do now?"
"Put the straw in quickly, and drink it really fast". I then demonstrate with my shot. She follows suit.
Now she sits with flaming, melting plastic straw #2, and cheerfully says "Yum! That was pretty good!"
"Your straw's on fire again".

We spent the rest of the night making faces at each other to test out our theories of how eye contact should be made in bars. I show her my freshly whitened teeth, pulling the lips up and out of the way so she can get a good look.

"Jay, you are a total nerd".

Birds of a feather, Boo.